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Saturday, 19 September 2015

Living Together Before Marriage: Is It The Best Idea?



There are a lot of reasons a couple might want to consider living together long before they are able to make things ‘official’ between them.

It can be due to financial advantages, or they have child(ren) together. It could also be due to the fact that they are saving up for a wedding and they simply cannot wait until then to be together.
There are a few advantages of having a live-in partner, such as;
– Giving each other a chance to know each other well before marriage. It is almost impossible to know someone truly well unless you live with them, and doing this before marriage could give you a good idea on what to expect. It could even make it clearer for you regarding whether or not you will like to continue in the relationship.

– Giving the couple a chance to spend time with their children. Often times, when a couple have children together before marriage, it might get difficult for the both of them to spend adequate time with the children if they live apart.
– Solve long-distance relationship problem. Sometimes, distance can become a huge barrier to a blossoming relationship, and the only way to avoid this is if one partner is willing to move from their location and settle with the other.
One big concern for couples when it comes to living together is the fact that they might get so comfortable with the situation that they would not want to be married anymore. This is a valid concern as a lot of people tend to get comfortable if they do not have any reason to change their situation. So if you are considering living with your partner, keep the tips below in mind;

1. Know the end date: Have a date in mind for when the wedding will take place and work towards it. Do not move in together with only a vague idea of when you both will make things official.

2. Know your partner: Some people are afraid of commitment, and when they see someone that is willing to live with them unofficially, they will jump on the chance, leaving their partner heartbroken and disappointed at the end of the day. Make sure your goals are the same as your partner’s. Be sure they want to be married as much as you do. Do not enable a partner who is looking for an easy way out of making commitment.

3. Have a good reason: You must make sure you both have a good, tangible reason for living together before marriage and you both must make sure you understand this. This way, when all things get solved, it will be clear to you both that it is time to make the ultimate commitment to each other.

4. Keep some things to yourself: You know the saying “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”? Well, do not be so willing to give a hundred percent of yourself to someone else when they have not made that commitment to you. Keep some things close to your chest.
For instance, you can choose to live with someone, but make it clear that you will not bring kids into the mix until you are officially married. It is easy for one partner to enjoy the benefits of a live-in lover so much that they take advantage of it, but if you give them a reason to commit, they just might.

5. Know when to walk: You do not want to be one of those people who are stuck living with a partner for years without any wedding date in mind.
If it looks like your partner is taking advantage of you this way, do not be afraid to leave this arrangement, as it is better to leave late and give yourself another chance at love than staying in a terrible and unhappy situation. Living together with a partner is not a completely bad idea if you know what you are doing and if you have a plan. There could be great benefits to be reaped, but it could also result in heartbreak so it is always important to be careful.

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